Monday, June 6, 2016

June Open Discussion


412 comments:

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Sage said...

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator has left a new comment on the post "TLC Block Party":


Kate is teaching her children that you can ignore what the judge says. Court rulings don't matter.
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Some of those kids have learned that people are disposable.

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That is another reason they should not be allowed to refuse to visit. They are learning to manipulate, and a manipulative adult makes for a nasty adult.

They are learning to be cold, to refuse to give people a second chance, to refuse to keep an open mind, to shut the door on love. Four of them have learned that just like Kate, when you have a problem with someone you shut them out instead of working through it. They are learning to be selfish and learning that they get to control the show even though at their ages they are not in any way ready for such a thing.

They are also learning to not stick together with their siblings. The bitterness among them that is so apparent will just get worse. It will be us four vs. you four.

It was asked how you deal with a child who doesn't want to visit. I'll tell you how we deal with this in Los Angeles. First, we determine whether there is some kind of severe abuse going on such that it's causing grave emotional detriment and the child should be permitted no visits. That is so rare you almost never see such a situation, only usually in the rare case where a father rapes his biological daughter. Assuming that is not occurring, the child is put in therapy with a licensed therapist, who over time builds rapport with the child as they discuss the issues between themselves and the parent. It is also advised the parent also does individual therapy. Then, when the child's therapist recommends it, they do a trial visit with the parent in a therapeutic setting, a short one, followed by some sessions of conjoint therapy. As the child gets more comfortable the visits and conjoint sessions become more frequent until the child is ready for monitored visits outside a therapeutic setting. The first few visits may only involve the child sitting there and staring at the clock, but over time, they get better.

This almost always works. It is an extremely rare case a child still refuses visits after such intensive therapy. It's just not very common at all and when it does happen it's often due to parental alienation or some other intervening force.
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The most obvious thing here is that they all want to ignore is that there is a court order that Jon does not see some of the kids. Deal with it!

Anonymous said...

Sage,
Would you please consider making a new post when comments go beyond 200? Scrolling on my phone....painful.

Courtney said...

I am so tired of seeing the Beckspert insist that the police will enforce a visitation order. It just doesn't work that way, no matter how much Becks stomps her foot and claims it does.
Unless Becks lives in some super-duper special county where cops show up on rainbow farting unicorns, it ain't happening that way. For one, police have no way of truly confirming that a visitation order is accurate. They could be presented with an old order that has been modified, for one. In my real life experiences, the usual response from LEOs is that custody is a civil matter and if one parent thinks the other parent has violated the order they advise the parent making the complaint to go to court and ask the judge to find the other party in contempt.

Where I live, there is not even a filing fee to file a contempt motion with the court. Attorneys cost money, I get that, but not the exorbitant sums Jon implies. And this is for his kids...how does a parent put a price on that? Surely he's made enough from his interviews to pay some attorney to help him enforce his rights. Of course, I've not yet ever seen him say he actually has visitation rights with ALL of his kids.

Sage said...

Realitytvkids.com ~ Administrator has left a new comment on the post "TLC Block Party":

I support Jon, but my support is not unconditional.

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That's how I feel. I'm very supportive of Jon, always have been, and I like Jon. I have personally spoken to Jon several times over the years, and he has always been kind to me. He at least at one time read here and enjoyed this blog. But you can be totally in someone's corner yet disagree with their choices now and again. It would be weird to always 100% be behind someone in every last little thing. That would be robotic.

I think overall he's a good guy and good father who made a bad choice here and since he's comfortable talking about the situation publicly so am I to take issue with it.

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Here is a scenario for you....Becks states that Jon at one time read her blog. What if he showed the kids what was written about their mother. There you have if parental alienation by Jon. The kids got mad and refuse to see him. See I can make absurd speculations too. LOL

Sage said...

Anon,

I planned on making a new one this weekend.....I have been incredibly busy.

merryway said...

Blah blah blah, regarding this explanation of Bl's, she's leaving a big part of the equation; a parent has to be willing to participate in the family court process to be reunited with their child/children.
xxxxx

"It was asked how you deal with a child who doesn't want to visit. I'll tell you how we deal with this in Los Angeles. First, we determine whether there is some kind of severe abuse going on such that it's causing grave emotional detriment and the child should be permitted no visits. That is so rare you almost never see such a situation, only usually in the rare case where a father rapes his biological daughter. Assuming that is not occurring, the child is put in therapy with a licensed therapist, who over time builds rapport with the child as they discuss the issues between themselves and the parent. It is also advised the parent also does individual therapy. Then, when the child's therapist recommends it, they do a trial visit with the parent in a therapeutic setting, a short one, followed by some sessions of conjoint therapy. As the child gets more comfortable the visits and conjoint sessions become more frequent until the child is ready for monitored visits outside a therapeutic setting. The first few visits may only involve the child sitting there and staring at the clock, but over time, they get better."

Sage said...

FlimsyFlamsy has left a new comment on the post "TLC Block Party":

And Tucker's Mom, I respect your passion and indignation about this. And I imagine there is plenty of room in your head and heart to champion other causes and injustices. This is a reality TV kids' blog, so that's what we're commenting about here.
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LOL It is a hate Kate excuse Jon blog....own it!

Sage said...

Deliverence has left a new comment on the post "TLC Block Party":

The interviews and articles make him look worse. I can't decide what he is hoping to achieve but it's not working.

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Plain and simple. He wants back on TV. He said so in one of his many recent interviews. He's talking about making some kind of discovideo whatever and putting it on YouTube, hoping a TV network picks it up.

He also said something about to those who support him, thanks. To those who hate him "See ya on TV." He really thinks TV (entertainment field) is his forte, hence all the current interviews.

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Bingo! somebody can think over there!

That fits with everything Hoffman told me about Jon.

merryway said...

Over at Bl's they're all twiddling their toes in wonder at Jon's lack of action. Others are writing yards about their traumatic childhood experiences in order to excuse Jon not enforcing his visitation order. It's all okay and for the best that Jon has allowed three years of not seeing Collin to go by rather than upset him by an officer escorting him into Jon's care. This is the guy who made money by having RH film packing off the dogs while he called his kids to say goodbye to their pets,all the while blaming Kate. Yet, Bl's think Jon wouldn't call the police in the matter of visitation.

Ugh, once again they ignore Jon's own words to live in the world of imagination. Jon can't even go to the court to force visitation because his case is not the norm. Even if someone brought it up over there, Bl would put her interpretation on it to keep Kate as an alienator.

http://www.instagram.com/p/BA21XJYSF3q/

metcon_incHi Jon, I just watched your interview... You stated you hadn't seen your son in over a year... You get to see all the kids but one? Can't the court order Kate to allow you to see all your kids? It saddens me that you only see four at a time.
dj_jon_gosselinYou think that would be the norm, but not in this case!

Anonymous said...

Sage, I'm sure you have been incredibly busy with your daughter and her daughter. I was very sorry to hear about losing one of the babies. I do hope your daughter is doing well.

I have never heard that there was a court order against Jon except for here. Would you share how you know this to be fact?

Thank you

Sage said...

I don't know it to be fact...just speculating.

I do think it is telling that Jon never forces the issue in seeing Collin. Just like Jon never goes on Kate's property. I can speculate that Kate has an order for him not to come on it.

Sage said...

NEW POST

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